Dating in the digital world: How to protect your wallet (and heart) from romance scams
When love isn’t real. What to consider before trusting someone you meet online
All names have been changed to protect the identity and privacy of the scam victims.
Maybe you're reading this thinking it could never happen to you. Or perhaps you're worried about someone you love. The truth is, romance scammers are masters of manipulation, and they're getting better at their game every day.
The new face of dating fraud
Gone are the obvious spelling mistakes and clumsy approaches. Today's romance scammers are sophisticated actors who might spend months building trust. They study your social media, learn your interests, and know exactly what to say to win your confidence.
How these stories usually unfold
It starts innocently enough. A friend request. A comment on your post. Soon you're chatting daily, sharing hopes and dreams. They're always there when you need them, always saying the right things. Then comes the first small request for help…
The warning signs you can't afford to miss
Look out for these red flags in your own online relationships - or those of someone you love:
- They fall in love at warp speed, showering you with attention.
- They always have a reason why they can't video chat.
- Their stories are dramatic and their problems always require money to solve.
- They pressure you to move conversations to private messaging apps.
When parents become targets
*John noticed his 70-year-old father becoming increasingly secretive about his phone use. His dad, usually careful with money, started making unusual transfers. "He thought he'd found love again," John shares. "Instead, he found a scammer who nearly cost him his retirement savings."
Anyone can fall for a romance scam
It's not about intelligence, it's about our human nature. Scammers exploit our:
- Desire for connection
- Natural instinct to help others
- Hope for finding love
- Tendency to see the best in people
Protecting yourself and those you love
Here's how to stay safe without closing your heart completely:
- Take it slow. Love doesn't need to rush.
- Keep conversations on dating platforms until you've met in person.
- Do a reverse image search on profile pictures and check closely to see if it was created using AI.
- Talk to friends and family about new online relationships (romantic or friendship).
- Never send money to someone you haven't met in person.
If someone you love is at risk
Watch for these warning signs:
- Sudden secrecy around their phone or computer.
- Withdrawing from family and friends.
- Talking about a new online relationship they're keeping private.
- Becoming defensive when questioned about their online activity.
If you need someone to talk to, reach out to family and friends or contact Lifeline or Beyond Blue to speak to someone online or over the phone.
Beyond Blue
1300 22 4636 or online chat (24 hours a day, 7 days a week)
Lifeline
13 11 14 or online crisis support chat (24 hours a day, 7 days a week)
Think you or someone you love is being scammed?
- Stop all contact immediately
- Call MyState Bank on 138 001
- Report to Scamwatch
- Tell someone you trust
- Keep all chat logs and transaction records
At MyState, we have a bank-wide strategy to reduce the impact of scams and fraud to our customers, including:
- Collaborating with telecommunications provider’s to prevent spoofing scams.
- Using behavioral monitoring to help identify out of character activity.
- Placing blocks on high-risk activity
- Never including URL’s in text messages sent to our customers.
